Building a solution-focused life
Photo by Andrik Langfield on Unsplash
When it comes to living and learning, principles are like the blueprints that help guide our perceptions and behaviours. As a solution-focused coach, I often try to follow the principles of the solution-building paradigm to help guide my coaching conversations with people. These principles apply not just to coaching — we can also use them in everyday life.
Many people I have spoken to have said that these principles of solution-focused practice have made a big difference in their life. From my experience, they have changed how I see and respond to different people and situations for the better. By changing the lens through which I see the world, my world changes.
In this post, I have adapted the 11 principles of the solution-building paradigm so that you can apply them to your own life. These principles came out of the research done by Insoo Kim Berg and her team at the Brief Family Therapy Center (BFTC) in Milwaukee, US. Try them out and have fun with them! See if you can notice what changes when you follow these principles.
11 principles of the solution-building paradigm*
If it works, don’t fix it. Find out what works, even a little bit and even once in a while.
If something worked once, do more of it. Whatever you are doing, if you learn that it worked even once, find a way to repeat it.
If it does not work, do something different. How can you tell when you are doing something that is not working and that it is time to do something different?
Change is constant and inevitable. Most people desire stability and predictability, but life is full of changes.
The future is negotiated and created. Regardless of where you have been, it is more important to learn what you want to do about today and tomorrow.
Small solutions can lead to big changes. There is a belief that a big, serious, and complex problem requires a massive change that spans a long period of time. This belief can paralyze you, leaving you feeling helpless and overwhelmed.
Problems and solutions may not always be directly related. When repeated attempts at solutions don't work, try something absurd and off-kilter instead.
No problem happens all the time.
Ask yourself questions so you can remain curious about your situation. When you immediately jump to judging yourself or your situation, you lose the capacity to see different perspectives and possibilities.
Give yourself compliments. Acknowledge your strengths and capabilities.
Gently nudge yourself to do more of what is working.
How might you put these solution-focused principles into practice?
*Adapted from "Major Tenets of the Solution-Building Paradigm," by Insoo Kim Berg, and Peter Szabó, 2005, Brief Coaching for Lasting Solutions.