We all want to experience a sense of belonging, to be seen and accepted for who we truly are. Ever wonder why it is so hard to just be yourself in this (crumbling) system we live in? The truth is we live in an unjust world and many people are struggling to survive and thrive in it. Recently, I’ve been reading this insightful book titled Radical Belonging by Lindo Bacon. In the book, she talks about three places where we’re not allowed to belong. Recognizing these three barriers can empower us to transform ourselves and the world through embodiment and meaningful work.

The first place we’re not allowed to belong is in our bodies.

According to Bacon, “forced alienation from our physical selves is perhaps the precondition for loneliness and social isolation.” Since few of us fit into what society tells us is “normal”, “we are coerced and conditioned to endlessly work on our bodies and ourselves to more closely accommodate this mythical norm.”

The second place we’re not allowed to belong is everywhere.

Since we’re not allowed to belong to ourselves, we're also not allowed to take those bodies, those authentic selves, out into the world. The breastfeeding parent, those who identify as women, the person who has a disability, the person who identifies as trans, people of colour, and people who are considered fat experience this most acutely.

The third place we’re not allowed to belong is together.

If we cannot bring our full selves out into the world, we cannot truly meet each other as we are. Bacon says that “the first two barriers (not belonging in our own bodies or in the world) undermine our ability to belong to each other in partnerships, families, groups and communities.”

Reading about these barriers, it becomes more clear to me why we’re all so disconnected from each other. I suppose this is one of the reasons why I've been so focused on embodiment lately.

Don't get me wrong: I know meditation, coaching and therapy on their own will not be enough to bring about collective and sustainable well-being and human flourishing. In fact, the mental health field has come under fire for failing to acknowledge the larger context in which people experience suffering. And yet, without a sense of self-possession and resilience, it’s difficult for us to engage in facilitating the change that we want to see in the world. I think we'll only wear ourselves out.

I think it's time to start reclaiming ourselves, our bodies, in whatever way we can. We can all take part in creating a better future—in our own way—AND we also need to develop our inner capacities and resources to give us the strength, energy and wisdom to do what we need to do.

Let's support each other in anyway we can. I know we can do this, but we can't do it alone. Together, we can transform this unjust world into one in which we can all thrive and find a sense of belonging.

Sources

Lindo Bacon. Radical Belonging : How to Survive and Thrive in an Unjust World (While Transforming It for the Better). Dallas, Tx, Benbella Books, 2020.